Need help dealing with your insecurities? Need help dealing with someone who mistreated you? Worried about what will happen if you ask out that cute girl? I have all the answers for you! I'll reveal the key to a happy life!
I used to struggle with this alot. I used to think I was the biggest loser on the planet. I blamed my parents for giving me a bad life. I blamed my brother for mistreating me. I blamed the schools for tolerating bullying. I blamed the media because I did not fit the 'ideal' male type. I blamed women for not acknowledging me and ignoring me at best. I felt like crap for wasting away so many years of my life
I was suffering from an illusion. I took life too seriously. I saw life as a competition.
But now, I don't really feel that anger, rage, and bitterness. What happened? Nothing really. I think the defining moment occurred when I felt so low and hopeless that I decided to travel abroad, without any real goals in mind, because I figured I had nothing to lose. During my life abroad, I was welcomed by some nice people who were curious about me. But I also began to meet some assholes. Jerks who make publicly laugh loudly and shame me when I attempted to speak their language. They would ignore me and ostracize me. I contemplated suicide daily, but I was too scared to go through with it. I then decided to ask for help online. Someone told me I was being targeted and mistreated because those other guys were jealous. That changed my life. I began to feel gratitude for what I had instead of feeling like a victim for missing out on many things in life. I worked up the courage to confront one of those bullies, and he exploded with bitterness and jealousy. That confirmed that he was just extremely jealous of me. I decided to let him "win" the confrontation because I pitied him. He had the mindset of a beggar. TAKE! TAKE! TAKE! ME! ME! ME!
The fear and shyness comes because you are too concerned with yourself. You are concerned about your ego and how you appear because you view others as competition, and you are worried about looking foolish because then you would be viewed as the "loser" to others.
So how do you break out your shyness and live fearlessly? By stop viewing others as competition. Let's say you do embarrass yourself by saying something stupid. What's going to happen? NOTHING. You are NOT going to die. You can just leave those people and find better people to associate with. You can just let those people "win". If those people need to humiliate you so they can "win" so badly, then you can just pity them and see them as being like beggars.
By just accepting "defeat", you are now in a position of power. You do NOT have to "win". Adopting a mindset of gratitude will help you realize you don't need to "dominate" and get respect from everyone because you already have a ton of other things going well for you. As a result, you'll realize there's nothing to worry about and be scared over, and you'll be more relaxed and outgoing as a result
This is probably hard for you to swallow (it was extremely hard for me to accept this at first) because we live in such a competition-based society. We admire the athletes who win, and mock and shame those who lose.
You already have a ton to be grateful for. You're probably young, have parents in good health, are able to obtain an education, have access to the internet so you can seek help, etc. There's probably a ton of people out there who secretly hate you because they are jealous of you.
So your shyness comes because you think you need to look cool and get respect. You DON'T. You already have a ton of things to be grateful and happy for
I was suffering from an illusion. I took life too seriously. I saw life as a competition.
But now, I don't really feel that anger, rage, and bitterness. What happened? Nothing really. I think the defining moment occurred when I felt so low and hopeless that I decided to travel abroad, without any real goals in mind, because I figured I had nothing to lose. During my life abroad, I was welcomed by some nice people who were curious about me. But I also began to meet some assholes. Jerks who make publicly laugh loudly and shame me when I attempted to speak their language. They would ignore me and ostracize me. I contemplated suicide daily, but I was too scared to go through with it. I then decided to ask for help online. Someone told me I was being targeted and mistreated because those other guys were jealous. That changed my life. I began to feel gratitude for what I had instead of feeling like a victim for missing out on many things in life. I worked up the courage to confront one of those bullies, and he exploded with bitterness and jealousy. That confirmed that he was just extremely jealous of me. I decided to let him "win" the confrontation because I pitied him. He had the mindset of a beggar. TAKE! TAKE! TAKE! ME! ME! ME!
The fear and shyness comes because you are too concerned with yourself. You are concerned about your ego and how you appear because you view others as competition, and you are worried about looking foolish because then you would be viewed as the "loser" to others.
So how do you break out your shyness and live fearlessly? By stop viewing others as competition. Let's say you do embarrass yourself by saying something stupid. What's going to happen? NOTHING. You are NOT going to die. You can just leave those people and find better people to associate with. You can just let those people "win". If those people need to humiliate you so they can "win" so badly, then you can just pity them and see them as being like beggars.
By just accepting "defeat", you are now in a position of power. You do NOT have to "win". Adopting a mindset of gratitude will help you realize you don't need to "dominate" and get respect from everyone because you already have a ton of other things going well for you. As a result, you'll realize there's nothing to worry about and be scared over, and you'll be more relaxed and outgoing as a result
This is probably hard for you to swallow (it was extremely hard for me to accept this at first) because we live in such a competition-based society. We admire the athletes who win, and mock and shame those who lose.
You already have a ton to be grateful for. You're probably young, have parents in good health, are able to obtain an education, have access to the internet so you can seek help, etc. There's probably a ton of people out there who secretly hate you because they are jealous of you.
So your shyness comes because you think you need to look cool and get respect. You DON'T. You already have a ton of things to be grateful and happy for